Great Aussie excuses for scoring a four-day weekend

A public holiday falling on a Tuesday? The audacity! We’ve been duped a long weekend, and if you’re as upset as we are then use this ingenious* list of get-out-of-work-free excuses for Monday January 25. Hello cheeky four-day weekend!

I can’t get my car out of the garage

…Because it’d interfere with the kick-arse backyard cricket pitch we’ve set up for tomorrow.

I have to be at home to meet a tradesperson

…Who’s wiring up the sound system I borrowed from Dave for tomorrow’s party.

I’ve developed gangrene on my feet

…From spending the entire weekend in the pool. Hey, those things don’t clean themselves!

I can’t get my car started

…Because I used the sparkplug to repair the radio so we can listen to the Hottest 100.

I’ve got no money for the bus/train/ferry ride

…Because I spent the rest of my pay on quality snags and minute steak from the local butcher

I’ve developed short term crippling arthritis

…From whipping a litre of cream for tomorrow’s pav by hand

I’ve got a black eye

…Courtesy of Uncle Mick’s vicious full toss.

I snapped my Achilles

…Tripping on the run up to yesterday’s warm-up slip and slide


And the one that’s guaranteed zero follow-up questions. Every. Single. Time.


I’ve got the runs

100 not out to be precise.



* We cannot guarantee these excuses will work and they may result in getting you fired.