The best race horse names

by Trisha Mee

When it comes to race horse names, Roger just doesn't cut it. But name a horse after a clever pun, a reference to popular culture or something just plain bizarre and you've got a winner. (In the name stakes anyway.) To celebrate the upcoming 2016 Melbourne Cup on Tuesday 1st November, and the lighter side to the serious business of horse racing, we've rounded up the most unique horse names galloping around.  

Ha Ha
‘Ha Ha’ funny or ‘Ha Ha’ in your face? Either way, both were relevant when this mare won eight of her races, one of which was the Golden Slipper in 2001. During her racing career she won $2,989,465 in stakes, and that’s not an amount to be laughed at.

Passing Wind
Juvenile? Perhaps. But it’s also universally funny. If the owners wanted to really make it uncomfortable for commentators to say they should consider adding “I’m” in front of this horse's name. Imagine being stuck in peak hour traffic and hearing the commentator say over the radio, “I’m Passing Wind in a difficult position stuck between two horses...” Peak hour frustration GONE.

Loose Leotard
This name sends your imagination somewhere you don’t want it to go. And for anyone who ever did gymnastics as a kid, you know what we're talking about. But you have to admit, it’s a name you simply want to ask the owners, “Why?”

We’re guessing the owners were Seinfeld fans - that, or really strict parents. But if we go with the former, we’d love to know how many punters backed this horse based purely on the Seinfeld reference, because we would definitely be one of them.

The best 'No Soup For You' snippets

Sofa Can Fast
Well, you’ve got to give the owners points for creativity, and for a short time, they actually got away with it. However they quickly found out the only thing faster than their horse was how quickly the name was rejected.

Hoof Hearted
Do you see a theme? To read it, you might assume it’s making reference to a love of horses. But when you're calling this name out in the heat of a race, it’s a whole different story - or rather, question. Try it and see. 

As lyrics to a song, it was bad, but as a name for a horse it’s kinda good. Can’t recall which song it’s from? Do yourself a favour and don’t YouTube it, because YOU WILL find yourself subconsciously humming this annoyingly catchy tune and you’ll only become aware of it when strange looks are cast your way. Tip: Just tell them you have kids.

Why The Long Face
These owners just called it like they saw it. 

Spider Pig
No doubt this name had non-Simpsons fans wondering why the owners decided to call their horse a pig. Simpsons fans however broke out in song, “Spider Pig, Spider Pig, does whatever a spider pig does...”

The original Spider Pig

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