25 thoughts every woman has before, during and after a hot lap

Self drive V8 and rally car experiences are a blast, especially for those who fancy themselves pretty skilled behind the wheel. They’re also a lot of fun for those of us generally more comfortable at 100 on cruise control – it’s a safe setting to be a bit more daring than we ordinarily would.

But whether or not you think you missed your calling as a professional driver and suspect you’re inhabited by the spirit of Peter Brock; sitting next to an accomplished driver as they scream their way around a track at upwards of 250 kilometres per hour is an amazing and completely different type of rush.

If you’ve never been in a race car and you’re a little curious as to what it’s like, we’ve compiled a list of 25 thoughts that are most likely to pop into a woman’s head at one point or another as you stare down the barrel of a hot lap.

1. Gee, I’m a bit nervous.

2. Wow. I just caught my reflection in that car window and these race suits really are not very flattering.

3. They’re a bit sweaty too. I’m having flash backs to wearing those communal tenpin bowling shoes. Gross.

4. I wonder how often they wash these things?

5. How the hell did Lucy Liu, Cameron Diaz and Drew Barrymore look so damn hot in these things in Charlie’s Angels – I feel like I’m wearing a spud sack. It could really do with a belt or something to cinch in the waist.

6. Someone’s ushering me to the car.

7. It’s really hard to look cool and elegant while you’re folding yourself into a bucket seat about three inches from the ground. Seriously, I feel like I’m practically sitting on the tarmac.

8. Hold on. Is that guy trying to feel me up? Wait, no, he’s just fastening my seatbelt. Crikey, he’s taking a while. Awkward… 

9. That harness is digging in a bit. Does it really have to be that tight?

10. Wow, that engine sounds incredible!

11. I wonder if it’s too late to take up a career in motorsport. I think I could be pretty good. I drive a manual, I can reverse park like a boss. Seriously, it can’t be that…

12. …oh, and we’re moving.

13. This isn’t so bad, pretty sedate really.

14. Ah, we’re still in pit lane so I guess we’ll get a bit FASTER AS WE GET ONTO THE TRACKKKKKKKK...

15. This car can really move.

16. I reckon if I lean over a little more to the right I’ll be able to see the speedo…

17. …I really wish I hadn’t done that, it started with a 2 and we haven’t even hit the first corner yet!

18. I’m really glad this harness is so tight!

19. In fact, it could be a little tighter…

20. Holy crap, here comes the first corner!

21. Should I hold onto the arm rest or the dashboard or the…

22. …my butt cheeks have actually grown arms – hold on hold hold on hold on…

23. Breathe, Breathe, Breathe...

24. OK. Smile and try to giggle a little so you look cool and relaxed in the go pro video they give you at the end.

25. That was so much fun. Let’s go again!