25 thoughts every woman has before, during and after a hot lap

Peddling your way around a racetrack is one thing: you’re in control and can drive to your own level of comfort. But getting strapped into a high-powered racecar with a pro in the driver’s seat – well that’s a whole other kettle of fish!

Self drive V8 and rally car experiences are a blast, especially for those who fancy themselves pretty skilled behind the wheel. They’re also a lot of fun for those of us generally more comfortable at 100 on cruise control – it’s a safe setting to be a bit more daring than we ordinarily would.

But whether or not you think you missed your calling as a professional driver and suspect you’re inhabited by the spirit of Peter Brock; sitting next to an accomplished driver as they scream their way around a track at upwards of 250 kilometres per hour is an amazing and completely different type of rush.

If you’ve never been in a race car and you’re a little curious as to what it’s like, we’ve compiled a list of 25 thoughts that are most likely to pop into a woman’s head at one point or another as you stare down the barrel of a hot lap.

RedBalloon hot laps

1. Gee, I’m a bit nervous.

2. Wow. I just caught my reflection in that car window and these race suits really are not very flattering.

3. They’re a bit sweaty too. I’m having flash backs to wearing those communal tenpin bowling shoes. Gross.

4. I wonder how often they wash these things?

5. How the hell did Lucy Liu, Cameron Diaz and Drew Barrymore look so damn hot in these things in Charlie’s Angels – I feel like I’m wearing a spud sack. It could really do with a belt or something to cinch in the waist.

RedBalloon hot laps

6. Someone’s ushering me to the car.

7. It’s really hard to look cool and elegant while you’re folding yourself into a bucket seat about three inches from the ground. Seriously, I feel like I’m practically sitting on the tarmac.

8. Hold on. Is that guy trying to feel me up? Wait, no, he’s just fastening my seatbelt. Crikey, he’s taking a while. Awkward… 

9. That harness is digging in a bit. Does it really have to be that tight?

10. Wow, that engine sounds incredible!

RedBalloon hot laps

11. I wonder if it’s too late to take up a career in motorsport. I think I could be pretty good. I drive a manual, I can reverse park like a boss. Seriously, it can’t be that…

12. …oh, and we’re moving.

13. This isn’t so bad, pretty sedate really.

14. Ah, we’re still in pit lane so I guess we’ll get a bit FASTER AS WE GET ONTO THE TRACKKKKKKKK...

15. This car can really move.

RedBalloon Hot Laps

16. I reckon if I lean over a little more to the right I’ll be able to see the speedo…

17. …I really wish I hadn’t done that, it started with a 2 and we haven’t even hit the first corner yet!

18. I’m really glad this harness is so tight!

19. In fact, it could be a little tighter…

20. Holy crap, here comes the first corner!

RedBalloon Hot Laps

21. Should I hold onto the arm rest or the dashboard or the…

22. …my butt cheeks have actually grown arms – hold on hold hold on hold on…

23. Breathe, Breathe, Breathe...

24. OK. Smile and try to giggle a little so you look cool and relaxed in the go pro video they give you at the end.

25. That was so much fun. Let’s go again!

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